Turkey Bacon: Archive

3 tags

I’ve decided to post my new tumblr on my old tumblr just in case, for some odd reason, any of you wanted to follow me. http://youswoonyousign.tumblr.com/

Dec 28th

1 note

So after realizing some things a week or two ago I haven’t really wanted to get on this tumblr because I’m tired of being followed by people I know in real life and I want to post embarrassing things about myself without feeling self conscious. Plus I just don’t care for any of you anymore. so uh yeah that’s why I haven’t posted anything on her in a while. suck on...

Nov 11th

3 notes

Oct 28th

26,100 notes

Oct 28th

788 notes

knittingduringsex replied to your post: I downloaded a free trial of InDesign tonight to… You will be fucking amazing! Yay Heather! MAAAAATTHEW! You are wonderful and flatter me so.

Oct 28th

2 notes

Oct 28th

152 notes

Oct 28th

380 notes

I downloaded a free trial of InDesign tonight to put together a snazzy resume and holy balls how I missed making things. I forgot how much I loved working on InDesign in yearbook and creating things that look awesome and make me feel like I accomplished something. I’ve figured out that that’s what I want to do with my life. I want to create things and write things and put them all...

Oct 28th

3 notes

Oct 27th

466 notes

Oct 26th

1,429 notes

Oct 26th

113,424 notes

Oct 25th

2,727 notes

Oct 25th

709 notes

Oct 24th

441 notes

1 tag

“‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants...”

– J.K. Rowling (via yourelectrikfeel)

Oct 24th

39,505 notes

1 tag

I’m so tired of everything and everyone that is not my dogs. I have no idea what I want to do with my life any more. I have no motivation to do anything with my life. I’m too lazy for my own good. I don’t let anyone in. I’m not affectionate with anyone (unless you count cuddling with my dogs). I can’t stop procrastinating. I eat way to much. I throw myself pity...

Oct 22nd

2 notes

Oct 21st

16,665 notes

2 tags

Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious 
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES. 
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO 
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! 
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate. 
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet. 
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this? 
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight. 
Uterus: You mother fuckers. 
Torso: CONTRACT! 
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama. 
Brain: Me gusta.

Oct 20th

115,560 notes

Oct 20th

101,392 notes

Oct 19th

8,292 notes

Oct 19th

156,444 notes

Oct 19th

23,863 notes

Oct 19th

33,403 notes

1 tag

I forgot I had popsicles, like those one in the plastic tubes that used to be the bomb way back when, and I’m eating one and am in heaven! At least until it’s gone, but then I have pizza to look forward to.

Oct 18th

9,232 notes

Oct 18th

1,525 notes

Let me tell you how smart I am. Okay so I brought my Wii back with me to my dorm hoping to play Just Dance, but me being the brilliant person that I am, left the sensory bar at home. Now my Wii is basically useless and I am a sad puppy.

Oct 17th

Oct 16th

585 notes

Oct 16th

35 notes

Oct 16th

2,137 notes

I AM SO HAVING A PUPPY PARTY WHEN I TURN 20.

dayumcrunk: Because like, treat yo self!

Oct 15th

Oct 14th

1,135 notes

Oct 14th

1,692 notes

Oct 13th

11,736 notes

Oct 13th

2,112 notes

Oct 11th

4,657 notes

4 tags

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

quicksummary: There is a priest, a soldier and an ugly man. They are all lusting after a gipsy. In the end they all die because the priest cannot deal with his desire, except for the soldier who marries the woman whom he cheated on with dead gipsy. In the meantime, the reader fell asleep 15647 times and decided he would stick to the Disney version, no matter how cheesy the songs are. ...

Oct 11th

134 notes

I think I’m in love with this bag of Cheddar Chex Mix. It’s a beautiful relationship so far.

Oct 11th

3 tags

Oct 11th

14,397 notes

3 tags

Oct 10th

2,864 notes

I don’t understand how people can take a shower or be in a bathroom seeming to take a shower for over an hour. There’s no way you’re that dirty. I need to pee, but I can’t because you have been occupying the bathroom for the past HOUR!

Oct 10th